Have you had a moment when God lays a message on your heart for you to teach your children? How do you coach them without evoking the attitude or remind them of Charlie Brown’s teacher, making that horrible noise that no one can comprehend? I’m the mother of three beautiful children, ages 12-21. I have overcome these obstacles with my children by using the 3-step process Jesus used when instructing his disciples; questions, parables, and living by example.
 Throughout the Gospels, Jesus taught his own “children,” who were known as the disciples. His disciples were young “men” who experienced their bar mitzvah declaring them of age, but none the less, still teenagers.
Raising my son, I imagine these young “men” were comparable to teenage boys today, headstrong, resistant to authority, and typically learning things the hard way. These “men” were limited in their education. Jesus finds them working in their family trade. However, these young “men” became the first missionaries commissioned by Jesus to proclaim and teach the Gospels.
 So how did Jesus do it? How did He teach these obstinate young “men?” Jesus implemented a 3-step process using questions, parables, and His life example.
 Educators also use these methods to teach students in their classrooms. Being an educator myself, I found this very interesting. I chose to try these methods with my children.
 
 Method #1 Questions:
Asking questions helps us parents acquire information about our children. When Jesus asked a question, he could unveil more about the person, unearthing the need for repentance, and restoration. In John 21:15-19, Jesus asks Peter three times if he loved Him. These questions gave Peter a chance to repent and be restored for denying Jesus 3 times before. However, not only did Peter receive redemption, but he also received training for his mission. The only trade Peter knew how to do was fishing. After Peter states, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you,” Jesus responds with step by step instructions for Peter’s next mission to become a shepherd.
When I ask a question like, “How was your day?” My children give me a one-word answer, “Fine.” Out of frustration, I altered the way to ask my children about their day. Now I ask, “What was your favorite thing you did today and why?” This style of questioning is known as an open-ended question.
 An open-ended question prompts our children to give us a fuller answer than the typical one word, “No,” “Yes,” or “Fine.” Open-ended questions can be tricky to form since closed-ended questions have been utilized for so long. Retraining the way we develop more in-depth questions will enrich our knowledge about our child’s life. Open-ended questions continue the conversation creating an opportunity to impart wisdom to our children.
Method #2 Parable:
A parable is a story that holds a message inside. How do parents come up with these types of stories? The easiest way is to share from your own life. Storytelling is the way we leave our invisible fingerprint on our child’s heart. I noticed when sharing stories about my own mistakes, my children were willing to listen and engaged in the lesson.
 By sharing our own story, our child sees we’re not perfect. Sharing our mistakes breaks down walls between adolescents and adults. When sharing our personal stories, the feeling of judgment is removed, allowing children to hear the intended message.
 I attended, “She Speaks”, a writer’s conference, where Chrystal Evens Hurst spoke on, “Finding Your Unique Speaking Style.” Chrystal shared, “The most unique part of your story is YOU!” Our children desire to know more about us. They need to understand why we make the choices we make. God allowed certain things to occur in our life for a purpose. Equipping our children for their future is one of these purposes. Our stories are a gift from God, sharing this gift with our children, we advocate the importance of God’s story in their life.
 
 Method #3 Live as an example:
The third way Jesus taught was through living by example. As parents, this is a heavy burden to bear. Jesus lived a sinless life; this is unobtainable for us humans. There are times when my children act a certain way, and I am reminded of my flaws or dorkiness. The Lord knew this would be difficult, hence the need for Jesus.
 Here is what living by example looks like for our family. My children see me spend time in God’s Word every morning. They see me writing in my prayer journal as I sit on my porch with my cup of coffee. God receives the glory and praise in our home when blessings and trials are given. My husband and I share with our children when a storm hits our family. We share with our children when we sin against God, this helps them understand how sin affects our relationship with God and how it affects everyone around them. Our family talks about moments when trusting God is hard. My children see us getting things wrong. We acknowledge when we don’t walk in our faith but our abilities. My children witness our flaws.
 However, my children also see God’s character never changes, that God is forgiving, full of grace, loves unconditionally, and will give consequences. They see God has authority overall, including their parents. Our children choose to trust God with their own lives because they have seen their parents trust Him. They understand how we serve a living, trusting, patient, and good God.
By living this way, we are choosing to live out Deuteronomy 6:7, “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Authentic and transparent faith builds faith in God because they see God is always faithful even when we are not. Our children are watching, so be intentional.
 The Reward of Parenting like Jesus:
What does the fruit look like when we choose to train our children like Jesus instructed His disciples? Our fruit will mirror Jesus’s fruit. Once Jesus was no longer walking among the disciples, we read about them teaching others in the same way they were taught; the student becomes the teacher. Our children will do the same. They will remind us of stories in scripture, or ask us a question that helps us put things into perspective. We might even hear them share Truth with a friend or sibling. Thank the Lord for these moments, because He allowed the seeds we planted to grow.
We won’t always share the perfect story, ask the right question, or even live correctly, but God sees our heart, and His grace is sufficient. Don’t give up when it doesn’t go right the first or even the 25th time. All God asks is for you to be willing to train your children up in His Ways.
And when you fail, give yourself grace. Our failures are God’s impactful teaching moments for our children to see His grace and mercy in our life.
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